easing on death, foggy lakes, blue jay woman, and the woodpecker’s call

Was in a castle in the middle of a forest. I was part of a class that was on a field trip. I felt disconnected to all the people there.

I went into a courtyard where there was a woman standing next to a zebra. The zebra's stomach had a massive gash across it and its entrails were spilling out. She was trying to kick the people around her, and was in an acute state of pain & panic. I approached her, expecting her to kick me. Instead, she nuzzled me, and I stayed next to her and comforted her as she died. I tried to keep everyone else away to ease her pain.



I then walked through the castle to the back, where there was a series of wooden walkways built over a huge, misty lake. As I walked along the path, I kept seeing these mosquito-scorpions, their long hair and stingers raised in a delicate display. I thought they might bite or sting me, but they stayed where they were on the railing as I watched.




I then wandered through the castle again to a dining room, where many of my classmates were. I sat alone. There was a girl about my age with black hair and huge tits sitting about two tables away. She started calling me a bitch and generally being miserable towards me. I was truly hurt at first, but then I started hassling her back. She had a folding fan in her hands made of blue jay feathers.




I walked back outside and into the forest. In the sky was a flock of pileated woodpeckers. I thought about all the times I had heard their calls but never actually saw them. I was overjoyed.

fetal light-clot

I suddenly realized I was three months pregnant and in unbearable pain. The pain was so severe I thought it would kill me and my unborn child.

I went to the hospital and the doctors and nurses laid me on the table. I was writhing and screaming with pain. As they prepared their instruments for an ultrasound, I left my body and could see the fetus inside of me.



At first it was unclear, as if I was seeing it unfocused and in black and white. I could see something blocking its throat, and I thought it was a blood clot. The pain I thought would kill me was actually the pain of my unborn child.




Soon, the image became clearer, and I could see it was actually an orb of light that was blocking its airways. It was absolutely terrifying, as if I was watching helplessly as a part of myself choked to death. Slowly, the light dislodged itself and began to make its was down the fetus's esophagus.

birds show themselves, cicadas emerge

Was trying to catch a plane to some other country (Germany?), but I found myself at this house full of people I knew in high school, but hadn't seen in a very long time. I kept feeling like I needed to catch up, and kept missing my departure time.

I stepped outside to leave and found myself standing at the base of a mountain. I looked into the sky and two very large crows flew into a pine tree. Followed by bleeding-heart doves, shoebills, sparrows, woodpeckers. I was so happy! Further in the hills, a bear stumbled by.


I walked away and found myself at the door to my dead grandmother's house. The cicadas had emerged, and the sound was overwhelming. They were everywhere, in every stage of breeding & dying. Pokey, my parents' dachshund, was there to pick up the dying ones and eat them. I could hear their muffled cries in his jaws.



I remembered a trick I learned on a nature program: if you snap your fingers, the male (loud) cicadas will think it's a female and come to you. I snapped, and there was a male in the air who dipped down toward me. However, there was a HUGE spiderweb (which was very long like a Japanses scroll) between us, and the cicada was caught.

I didn't see the spider who wove it, but I knew it had to be a truly magnificent one. I saw a very colorful moth the size of a crow in the web, too. The markings looked Aztec. Very vivid.

I saw more of these moths very high in the air. They drifted down slowly down towards me among the cicadas.

washing with blood, bleeding it out

I've had two dreams that involve blood recently.



The first took place in the same apartment building as a previously documented dream (see: "finding the missing piece"). I was helping friends move out. They were supposed to be gone and the landlord was not happy. He worked around us, throwing whatever he could grab on top of a pile of dead leaves in the middle of the livingroom.



While this was going on, I was helping the way I knew how-- by cleaning. I had a bucket of water and a brush with stiff bristles. I dipped the brush and started scrubbing a pale wooden dresser. The water was mixed with blood, and everything I cleaned was left stained.

The landlord lit the pile of leaves and furniture on fire, and I ran from the room to the back porch (this again is a setting from a previous -different- dream [see: "duck feathers"]). The porch was covered in the bodies of dead and dying dachshunds, as well as lots of maggots and dirt. I jumped into the lake just beyond the porch. This is all I remember.

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The dream from last night left me feeling a little more disturbed. I was wandering around the sight of yet ANOTHER dream I've blogged about (see: "goat love"). There were pathways criss-crossing across hillsides covered in bushes & trees. There were small animals skittering around, but I never got a good look at them.

I became aware of a pain on my lip and forehead. I then changed my perspective and viewed myself face-on. I had a very large and swollen pustule on my lip that ended in what looked like an anus. There was also a hole in my forehead (although I did not want to look at that one too closely). Both were leaking blood onto my shirt.

When I took off my shirt, I examined my breasts. My nipples were also bleeding. The blood stained the earth below me.




I then had an urgent need to find a train to get me out of this place.